English: A young girl kisses a baby on the cheek.

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When we first announced we were pregnant with Baby #2, a lot of people took the opportunity to ask me whether or not I wanted a boy this time around.  While I’m sure the questioners were well-intentioned, the question is a frustrating one.

First of all, what good does it do to “wish” or “hope” for one gender over the other?  I have no control over that, so why create undue expectations and set myself up for disappointment?

Secondly…why set myself up for disappointment?  Oh, did I already mention that?  Well it’s important, so listen up.  Preferring to have a boy or a girl and spending the first 20 weeks of your pregnancy hoping, wishing, and (perhaps not so secretly) planning on that particular gender guarantees that you will be disappointed if the baby turns out to be the opposite of what you wanted.  When the ultrasound tech (or the doctor/nurse, if you wait until the birth) announces, “It’s a _______!” do you really want your first reaction to be sadness, discouragement, and perhaps even tears?  I, for one, do not.  I would rather be elated, excited, thrilled, and overjoyed – regardless of the genitalia my child sports.

This is, after all, my child I’m talking about here.  It’s not a puppy, a doll, a toy, or a birthday gift.  It’s a tiny human being with its own personality and set of genes.  If, for the rest of his/her life, you plan on supporting his/her dreams, goals, ambitions, and attempts (and let me insert here that you should be planning on this), why would you start your relationship with this little person by being disappointed in who they are?  This makes no sense to me whatsoever.

When I was pregnant with Little Miss and people asked me what I wanted the baby to be, I always replied, “Healthy.”

And that’s exactly what I want for this baby.


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