A friend of mine posted on Facebook about breastfeeding and a male friend of hers commented on her post. It made me laugh so hard my sides hurt, so I knew I had to share it here. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did:
I tried breast feeding once. (Ummmm….giving, not getting.) My wife had gone out to the store and I was alone with our first, who was around 3 months old at the time. I’d tried everything else to get him to stop crying — diaper change, bouncily walking around (me singing, him screaming) — with him on my shoulder. Then, inspiration! Maybe he’s hungry! I took off my shirt and offered him my right one. For the briefest moment, I thought it might work. Then he kind of spat me out, did that eeew-I’ve-got-a-hair-in-my-mouth look, and started screaming again. I swear, I just don’t know how you women do it. Of course, you don’t have the chest hair thing going on….but still.